


A Little (Harlequin) Romance Never Hurt Nobody

by evexe-n (manatsuko), rowanthestrange_yugihell



Series: Stepping Stones [5]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, That's it, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10618194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manatsuko/pseuds/evexe-n, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanthestrange_yugihell/pseuds/rowanthestrange_yugihell
Summary: The fic that's actually just an out-of-control Skype RP--In which Set has taken up a rather interesting career choice, Tristan didn't ask to know this, and Joey plays detective by employing some unique tactics.Being Seto Kaiba is suffering.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set in some vague future of the Stepping Stones 'verse, don't take any of this too seriously. It literally got written in Skype with us laughing over our own silly ideas after I posted Steps of Devotion~

 

 

Few people are aware that Tristan likes reading cheesy romance novels. He knows they're considered _garbage_ instead of proper books, but they’re something to read when bored, the sort of mindless entertainment a guy craves every once in a while. When one of the guys at work caught him reading one, he claimed it was porn, largely due to the fact Clarissa was in fact very chaste, Troy was the devil himself and Ricardo the one trying to protect her from Troy’s amorous advances. He didn't want to add more fuel to the fire that was his co-workers.

He found the Egyptian stuff by accident, but had to pick it up - he’d spent too much time being fucked over by both Egyptology and sci-fi to ignore a book that might understand his problems. It didn’t, but it was good anyway. He didn’t twig who the writer was, why would he?

The issue came when Joey found them and teased him mercilessly. Grabbing books at random and reading out paragraphs. And out of context, they suddenly seemed a little…

“Are you getting off reading about Kaiba and Atem, cus it sure sounds like it.”

He wasn’t.

But the thing is, it started to get weirdly specific. The fun sort of drifted out of their conversation, and they ended up sat on the floor together leafing through some of the stuff he hadn’t got round to reading yet.

“This is definitely Kaiba and Atem. And the other guy. I don’t think I needed to know this stuff. You really think he can bend like-”

Joey proceeds to pull a muscle and fall back clutching his leg.

Tristan feels a little nauseous.

But he still wants to know what happens in Book 14.

 

\---

 

The next time they are invited over for game night, both Joey and Tristan are trying very hard to keep a straight face, nothing hinting towards their latest discovery.

Of course, this is when Mana pulls out a box labeled _Twister_.

As usual, Kaiba refuses to play, so the first round is Atem, Yugi, Joey himself and Ryou - who has been known to kick you in the shin 'on accident' to make you lose, don't let him tell you otherwise. Atem ends up winning that one on account of Yugi's hair tickling Joey, the latter's fall dragging down the other two as well. They're laughing though, so all is well.

_But then..._

Apparently Mahad has been giving Kaiba wine, not too much, but enough that Mokuba is able to drag him along to the mat. Next round; Set, Kisara, Kaiba, Mokuba.

This is not going to end well, Joey can tell. He glances over to Tristan, whose thoughts seem to align with his own. Duke is giving them a rather weird look, but he ignores it. He really doesn't want to explain.

He was right.

The game ends with Set in an oddly contorted position, legs nearly in a split and back arched, and Joey's never getting rid of the mental images after this.

 

\---

 

Joey isn’t big on science - ’testing a hypothesis’ isn’t the sort of thing he’d consider himself doing. But playing detective on the other hand…

He starts whispering lines from the books around the three of them to see if they crack. And more importantly _who_ cracks.

Atem curiously asks him what he’s talking about - with a slight glint in his eye that forces Joey to lie and say he was trying to remember a line from a film, in case it sounds like he’s angling for an invitation.

Kaiba is also pretty normal - “What are you babbling about Wheeler, or do you have to move your lips when you think as well as read now?”

With Set though... The guy suddenly becomes quite still. There’s a moment of eye-contact. After all the time Joey’s spent with Yugi and Ryou, he should’ve been able to guess.

It’s always the quiet ones.

 

\---

 

This brings up more questions than before.

If only Set reacted, does this mean the others don't know? Or do they know he writes books, but haven't read any of it? Joey is pretty sure it would be illegal to write about someone, especially _like that_ , and not ask for permission first.

He tries to rope Tristan into helping him, who, while hesitating at first, gives in after Joey bribes him with burgers. Next time they are over at the Kaiba mansion, they're prepared.

 

\---

 

There's about three of the paperbacks in Tristan's overnight bag, another five in Joey's own. They take turns, placing the books in places only frequented by Atem or Kaiba, or well, that's what they hope. If Mana finds these, they really are risking death by overprotective older brothers - sure, there's two of them, but Joey's not taking his chances against Mahad, Set, _and_ Kaiba at the same time. And who even knows what Kisara would do.

Tristan goes to 'grab more snacks from the kitchen' and disappears for a solid ten minutes to hide a few books around Kaiba's office and the library. Joey steels his resolve before stating he's going to the toilet, making a less-quick-than-he'd-hoped detour to Kaiba's bedroom. It'd be easier if they could sneak a book into Atem's as well, but neither he nor Tristan are sure where it is. Kaiba's, at least, is easy to spot, and thankfully unlocked.

He considers opening the door and throwing the book in like that, but no, that'd make noise. After some consideration, he places one on the nightstand, one is shoved quickly behind a pillow, and the last left under the bed.

They wait.

The night carries on as usual, the games eventually making way for sleeping bags - no matter what Kaiba claims, it's not a sleepover unless you're all crammed together into one room - and everyone settles down for sleep.

Joey's honestly just about forgotten about the plan when Kaiba slams the door open, clutching one of the thinner volumes - Book 7: A Pharaoh's Sacrifice - so hard his knuckles are turning white. His loud demand as to _which one of you fuckers thought this was funny_ is interrupted by Set honest-to-God tackling him to the ground, before forcibly dragging him away from the door. Atem is quick to follow, apologizing for the ruckus, he's not quite sure what this is about either, _please go back to sleep_. It's hard to see in the dark, but his face definitely has a redder tint than usual.

Well then. That answers that question.

 

\---

 

 Breakfast in the morning is somewhat frosty.

They told Yugi and Ryou last night, it only seemed fair after the nasty wake-up call at 2am. Ryou wanted to see one, but they admitted they had distributed them in a lot of different places and honestly they couldn’t remember where all of them where. Yugi gave them a look, made a frustrated noise, and rolled right back over to sleep. Which seemed fair.

Yugi still hasn’t said a word, just looks at them and sighs tiredly at intervals.

Particularly noticeable by his lack of presence is Set. Joey wonders if Kaiba’s killed him and hidden the body in a cupboard somewhere - hopefully not the one containing Book 10: The Priest And The Paradox. The man himself isn’t looking at anyone, just staring at a spot on the table, somewhere past the rim of his coffee mug. Atem, who seems fairly blasé about everything, has been subtly reading one under the table for the last ten minutes, hiding the occasional smile by pretending to drink his empty cup of tea. It doesn’t mask the eyebrow raises though.

They’re almost finished with breakfast when Kaiba finally notices what Atem’s doing, snatches the book out of his hand and throws it across the room.

“No reading at the table.” He growls. Mana looks confusedly at Mahad, who shakes his head at her, and everything returns to silence.

_SCREEEK_

The scrape of a chair.

“No.” Says Kaiba, staring at Mokuba who looks back unblinkingly.

There’s another small noise.

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

It’s the wrong word. It’s Mokuba. Of course he dares.

There’s a crash of chairs being pushed back, plates and cutlery clatter as Kaiba bangs into the table, overturning cups and making Kisara slam her hands on the table angrily, making everything jump again.

Kaiba sprints after his brother, who Joey sees dash off with a wild glint in his eye.

They probably shouldn’t have forgotten that Mokuba lived here too.

 

\---

 

From this point onwards, all hell breaks loose.

Kisara's _really_ upset they made her spill her juice, and obviously wants to chase after Kaiba. She's only stopped by Mahad blocking the doorway, though that might not last much longer, as Mana's curiosity only got worse after that little show. Even magic won't help the guy hold back both Kisara and Mana at once, and Joey's guess is that he'd choose preserving Mana's innocence over making sure Kaiba doesn't get mauled by dragon-girl. He's sure the CEO has it coming anyway.

Ryou has disappeared, somehow.

Atem munches away on an apple, smirking as if he's actually proud of himself for one reason or another. Yugi's glaring at him in disbelief, but even that isn't stopping him. Yugi looks about ready to crack anyway, the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly.

Joey considers making a run for it while everyone's distracted to recover all the other books they hid, disposing of the evidence - at least those they can remember the hiding place of. But getting caught doing that would mean instant admission of guilt, and he's not stupid. He's perfectly happy ignoring everything in his corner with Tristan, thank you. Nothing going on here.

As expected, Mana makes a break for it, ducking underneath Mahad's legs when the opportunity arises. Mahad jumps after her, and Kaiba's on his own now, Kisara's on the war path.

Joey hears a vase topple over, followed by more shouting, footsteps echoing from every which way down the hall.

It sure is lively here in the morning.

 

\---

 

It’s almost midday before the yelling stops with a final “I TOLD YOU! I DON’T HAVE IT!” from Mokuba that rattles the windows.

They’ve been trying to play Mario Kart for the last hour. At some point Joey swears the player count jumped, but no-one else seems confused by Ryou’s presence, so he can only guess that he’s finally gone a bit mad.

Probably something in the air, given everyone else in this place.

The door bangs open, and the exhausted fighters return, Kaiba looking the most worse-for-wear shortly behind. Yugi offers some controllers. Joey privately thinks this isn’t a good idea, and that Mario Kart tends to do the opposite of resolving disputes, but doesn’t say anything. With any luck he’s getting out of this situation alive.

Mokuba, looking exhausted and grouchy, flips himself upside down on the couch and Mana copies him. Kisara ignores her controller, but accepts Kaiba’s offer of a fleecy blanket with a Blue Eyes on it, and a glass of juice to make up for earlier. Mahad politely refuses a controller too and collapses in a comfy chair, rubbing his temples. There’s a clink of glass as Kaiba tiredly pours a few fingers of whisky into a glass and hands it to him. Kaiba offers one to Kisara too, who tips it into her orange juice, causing him to wince, before pouring a generous amount into his own glass.

And he takes a controller.

They’re all ready to go, the beeps about to start counting down when Kaiba says quietly and flatly,

“This is Set’s fault. I understand that. But if I ever find out which one of you spread these books around my house, something terrible will happen to you, at a random point in the future, and you will know it was me.”

Joey and Tristan skid their wheels at the start and try not to look in Kaiba’s direction.

“…Speaking of, where is Set?”

“Shut up, Mokuba.”

 

\---

 

[Coda: Set]

 

Set is making himself sparse.

It's not that he is _actually_ fearing for his life - Atem would stop Kaiba before lethal harm happened - but he's not going to tempt fate. He likes his extremities where they are, after all, and Seto is quick when he wants to be.

Besides, both Kaiba and Atem had been aware of Set's books before today; Seto begrudgingly accepting that none of the people who ever read _that trash_ would connect the dots to their real-life personas, Atem gleefully giving suggestions for plot points every now and then. Only, none of them counted on Yugi's friends reading _that trash_.

Set will need to have words with whomever decided it was a good idea to taunt Seto like this, not only in his own house but _publicly_ , with the entire group staying the weekend. Set's been banned to the couch for the week, which is humiliating to say the least. Although the couch in their bedroom is just as comfortable as their actual bed, it's the principle of the matter.

Outside, he hears yelling, though he can only make out Mokuba's voice so far. Seems like he made the right call on hiding on the uppermost floor, if things are going downhill this fast.

The sound of people running draws closer, walls doing nothing to block out the noise, before fading out again. Rinse and repeat. Kisara's screeching gets added to the mix.

Set shakes his head.

All of this fuss over a few books, and it's not even the ones where they encounter their alternate universe's counterparts - all female - or the one with the AI uprising.

Weaklings.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Eve's tumblr: [ [evexe-n] ](https://evexe-n.tumblr.com)  
> Rowans's tumblr: [ [yugihell] ](https://yugihell.tumblr.com)


End file.
